The archaic SMS vs. NES video battle

There's nothing better than a flame war, even though I wouldn't dare hope for one right now, what with the SMS Junkyard's audience being less than 5 (rather old) guys, a dog and a blind little girl. Still, the video above, created by BitterPoetMadman (!), is a brilliant way of showcasing just how powerful Sega's 8-bit console seemed when compared to the NES. Light years ahead and that's probably why it half-conquered Europe. Well, that, and Nintendo taking ages to bring their offerings to the old world. Oh, and here's one more comparison vid.

We're back and we got our 8-bit Sega thingies with us

This humble Junkyard really deserved better. It's wasted its youth with us lazy bastards and never managed to truly shine or get the attention it deserved, what with taking the back seat to everything else and sadly looking on as other blogs lustfully enjoyed post after post. Still, as long as the SEGA Master System cunningly avoids death we wont give up. In fact, we might just give the blog a push, probably by providing a rather more steady stream of content.

Please, do watch this space...

Ghostbusters - Sega Master System

A lovely looking game here, and one which by all account was sumptuously superior in terms of graphics to its NES incarnation. So don't forget.... "If there's something strange, in your neighbourhood, Who y' gonna call?"

Gamestation's Sega Master System Section

Gamestation may have been swallowed whole by corporate monsters Game, meaning that Retro Gamers are now unable to walk into their Blockbuster based stores and pocket some enticing Retro Treasures, but online things are looking healthier than ever.

Newly opened on the Gamestation website is a specific Master System section with some quite pricey, but classic 8 Bit games...

Let's take a look at three featured on their Master System page and whince at the outrageous prices...

Wonderboy in Monster Land "Out Now: A drastic departure from the original, Wonder Boy in Monsterland thrusts our hero into a medieval world and arms him with a sword and shield. Buying new equipment is something you're going to want to do, but you can spend your hard earned cash on some booze as well. The gameplay is a far stretch from the strict run-and-jump platforming mechanics of the original, with some interesting RPG elements tossed into the mix."

Price? A whopping £9.99!!!! FK Rating... "Bloody Steep!"

Smash T.V. "Out Now: Smash TV is set in a futuristic game show (with the 'future' being, according to the game, '1999') in which one or two players attempt to collect prizes, cash and keys, while fighting off hordes of attacking enemies. The Classic Robotron game-play is enhanced further with the addition of power-ups and imaginative and challenging end-of-level bosses."

Price? A very reasonable £1.99!!! FK Rating... "I'd buy that for a dollar!"

Alex Kidd - The Lost Stars
Out Now: "The Lost Stars actually gives you unlimited lives but forces you to play against a timer. Getting hit or falling down a pit will reduce the timer or send you back a few screens, making the game much more forgiving. The graphics are bright, colorful, and full of detail, and the music is horribly catchy."

Price? A still not-too-cheap£6.99!!! FK Rating... "About the price of a Wii VC Download..."

So if you wanna purchase these classics, just click on the links... They're based on eBay prices and remember, you'll have to pay an additional £1.00 postage!

Lovely Sega Ladies!

All of these lovely ladies love the Sega Master System... I know because they told me in a dream ( or was it???) that I think I had about them all last... night... It went a little something like this (please imagine the picture going all wobbly and then fading out...)

...Father Krishna adjusted the belt on his crimson silk smoking jacket, as he strolled around his luxuriously furnished condominium, overlooking the opulence of the San Fernando valley. He chuckled silently and smugly to himself as he gazed across the vast living room at the ultimate and most expensive entertainment system, ever possessed by one man...

The multitude of gleaming 56" plasma screens were each hooked up by a single cable to a game console, chronologically encompassing the last 30 years of gaming history... All the major players were there... The Colecovision, Commodore 64, ZX Spectrum, Megadrive, Saturn, NES, N64, PS2 and so on... Every limited edition Dreamcast displayed neatly and compactly stacked side by side, and on a golden plynth, the Hi Saturn Navi, The Divers 2000 and the sparkling jewel in that jaded console crown... The Sega Master System.

A garrison of top secret Soviet prototype androids, each one bought with cocaine dollars from the Russian mafia after the collapse of the Berlin wall, stood erect, yet lifeless, souless, their Stalinesque visages smiling beatifically. Clasped in each cold robotic hand was a portable gaming system.

The rest of the room was furnished in a complimentary vulgar fashion... gaudy antiques, original masters in gilt edged frames, thick leather sofas, lazyboy recliners, vast bookshelves filled to the brim with sleazy 1950s pulp fiction, Liberace's jewel encrusted grand piano, framed Warhol screen prints, life size waxworks of Elvis, Joe Strummer and Fidel Castro. The thick lurid day glo pink shagpile carpet was festooned with skinned endangered animal rugs... hermaphrodite Lion, two headed Zebra, silverbacked Gorilla, albino Siberian tiger and so on...

Golden bowls, filled to the brim with exotic mushrooms and pungent narcotic herbs, lay scattered randomly on top of the over stocked bar... Every ale, wine, spirit and tincture known to man were crammed tightly amongst the cut crystal glasses, reflecting shafts of smoke filled sunlight from the narrow cracks between the heavy black velvet curtains.

As he swirled his 100 year old cognac around his diamond encrusted golden goblet, the stout, (yet ruggedly handsome) priest glanced at the heavy steel door that was slowly beginning to open... Silhouetted against the light was a three foot creature with a long grey beard and pointed hat, muttering in an ancient Mediterranean tongue, accompanied by an Elderly looking gentleman who seemed to be humming a long forgotten Celtic lullaby...

Father Krishna clapped his gnarled and weathered hands together, his many platinum rings clinking together as he did so... A platform rose from the centre of the room, and from it spilled a heavenly host of sweetly scented beauties, each clad provocatively in tight fitting white t-shirts bearing the legend "SEGA"...

... Sorry, my memory gets a bit hazy after that... Gnome? Can you remember what happened next?

Master System Monday # 16:The Master System Rap

Well hello there! its been a while hasn't it? I think I've missed Master System Monday for the last three weeks, but I'm glad to say it's back! And what better way to announce it's comeback gig than with a song?

Yes those fabulous types over at UK Resistance hav unearthed a 'rap' tribute to the Sega Master System! And with rhyming lines like these, you know it's going to be a winner!

"Master System costs from eighty pounds, 128 colours, three channel sound"
"Check out your local dealer, not for drugs, but for Sega"
"Yeah, we got the Sega Master System in the house, yeah boyee"
"3D glasses will blow your mind, Better peripherals you cannot find"

I stumbled across it on the wonderful Kotaku site, but why not go straight to the horses mouth and laugh your ass off!